Who I was, Who I am and who I will be

Cancer has changed me.  Well, duh.  But in more ways than one.  Some changes I could argue are for the better but there are plenty of changes that I’d argue are not for the better.  

For one, I’m weaker now than I have been in years.  Maybe decades.  That’s frustrating beyond measure.  I worked hard over many years to be strong.  I wanted to be one of the strongest guys in America or even the world.  I wasn’t going to be an All-Time world record holder but I could hold my own against most.  I prided myself on being strong.  But now I’m one of those old guys in the gym that tells about their glory days back in high school.  That ship has long sailed.  

Now I’ve got to think about the present and turn a wary eye to the future.  How am I now?  Who do I want to be in the near future?  Who do I want to be in the far future?  These are questions I don’t know the answer to.  I haven’t thought about it.  I’ve been too focused on what I’ve lost that I haven’t paid any attention to the second chance I’ve been given.  

I won’t be able to quickly give up on the past.  That’s hard for any of us to do.  But I do want to spend more time thinking about what I can do now and what I can do in the future.  Who will I become?