A year of a 1000 pictures

January 13, 2023 0 Comments

I want to take a trip back and start before my leukemia diagnosis. I want to point out what “might” have been early signs. There’s no real way of knowing but I certainly have a better idea looking back than I did in the moment. Going back through family pictures or the pictures/videos on my phone might give some idea for others but I think it’s as much a healing thing for me. It’s tough to move on from what I was. Things aren’t the same any more and while I don’t feel like I’m going to dwell on the past I hope it gives me some insight as to a) how well I’m doing and b) how much progress I’m making (have made).

The first one is from the summer before my diagnosis:

Starting around May or maybe even as early as April, I started feeling light headed. Very frequently. I had been on high blood pressure meds for about 2 years. I have a family history of it on both sides of my family so while it wasn’t crazy high, it was high enough, along with my family history that my doctor recommended we start. Even after losing 10lbs and increasing my cardio, when my blood pressure was still elevated I relinquished and started the meds. I thought maybe during this time that I would need to lower the meds so I started to keep a more detailed account of my blood pressure to talk to my doc when the time came.

It was also during this time that I started to feel very fatigued and a lot more frequently. I, at first, attributed it to working 2 jobs. This was during Covid and since the gyms were in hiatus or the status was in flux, I wanted to have some steady income so I picked up some hours working at a local store. I could tell my energy levels were lower but just thought it was stress, lack of sleep, more activity. Again, in hindsight, it might have been more.

Since I was working a lot more, I was missing out on a lot of time with my family. It was a tough time. I wanted to spend time with them but I also wanted to be able to provide for them. That’s a tough line to walk. I’m sure I did the right thing at the time but I’m also glad that it didn’t last long. It was cut short due to cancer so I guess I do have that to thank for it. Silver lining in everything I guess.

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